How to Save a Marriage after an Affair

One of the most devastating things that can happen in a marriage is to find that your spouse has cheated on you. Matrimonial infidelity is very common and, according to Truth About Deception, “it is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage.” With so many couples experiencing issues with affairs, is it possible to save marriages when the truth has come out? Many believe that it is and suggest the tips below.

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Don’t make it a deal-breaker.  A lot of marriages end after an affair because the spouse who was cheated on refuses to move past it. Though infidelity can be catastrophic, other factors have to be considered before automatically calling it quits. If you and your partner have a considerable history together and/or children are involved, then it might be best to try to work it out.

Be committed.  If you and your partner are trying not to jump straight to divorce, it’s important to keep communication lines open. In some cases, couples have reported becoming closer than ever after an affair because both parties became more honest with one another. In order to achieve this outcome, it’s important to be committed to saving the marriage, both emotionally and physically. Promise that you will walk alongside them on a path that is most likely going to be riddled with bumps and cracks.

Don’t ask your partner to "just get over it."  If you are the one who cheated, refrain from expecting your partner to get over the affair -- especially right away. If you stay, it becomes your responsibility to be there for your partner as they go through the emotions and pain that have been caused by this affair. Make yourself available to them and listen to what they have to say. Don't be afraid to share your own feelings, either. Let them know how sorry you are, and that you are there for them.

Consider counseling.  Don’t assume that you and your partner have to go through this alone. There are many wonderful marriage and couples counselors out there that help people get through these situations on a regular basis. If you opt for counseling, it’s important to be as honest as you can with your spouse and the therapist so that you can get the most out of your sessions.

Although matrimonial infidelity is a devastating thing, it's not impossible to overcome. It’s up to you and your partner to determine whether you’re willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work. If you are both committed to one another, reconciliation is possible.

 

 

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